Happiness: Goal or By-Product?
Just a quick thought for the day. Or really a question: Do you think happiness is a worthy goal? Or is it rather a by-product of other things?
Ever since Thomas Jefferson, at least, we have been taught to think happiness is something we should pursue. But, I wonder, what is happiness, exactly? When do we know we’ve found it? How do we go about it? Noting that we are notoriously bad at predicting what will make us happy, it occurs to me that perhaps that’s because happiness isn’t, finally, something you can pursue and catch and possess. Rather, perhaps happiness is the by-product of worthy activities. Perhaps happiness is the feeling you get from a job well done, or from achieving a goal, or from being honest and trustworthy, or from helping someone out.
When I remember, for instance, that the only time money makes you happy is when you give it away, it seems even more likely that happiness isn’t a goal to be pursued but an outcome for which to be grateful. I think this matters because so much of the media attempts to sell us stuff on the premise that if we buy it we’ll be happy. Yet if happiness is really outcome rather than goal, then those ads are all misleading and we’d be better off helping someone out, donating some of our time and money to a good cause, doing the work in front of us well, and keeping faith with our friends.
So there it is: goal or by-product, prize to be pursued or reward to be treasured? A lot, it seems to me, hangs in the balance of how we answer this single question. What do you think?
I agree with you that it’s a “by-product–reward to be treasured” (I love your wording).
I agree! Well said!
Happiness is a choice which is affirmed by the worth our Creator places on us. When we leave it in the hands of others, events, or things, we plant the seeds of unhappiness. It wasn’t until I learned and accepted the worth God placed on me individually, that I came to understand happiness.
Another triumph, David! Well done. “Pursuit of happiness” is such a good expression; active, not passive, with lots of elbow room. If I were starting a nation I would make it mandatory, not a right: “You will experience ‘the pursuit of happiness’.” But happy? Only at the appropriate times. Happiness seems like a mood to me, to reflect life experience, a byproduct as you say it so well. JOY is the word liturgy provides, a more wonderful pursuit and always a gift. If something brings happiness so be it, but JOY is so communal–and always a gift. The “-ful” of joy surpasses the “-ness” of happi.
With out a doubt, a by-product to be cherished.
I definitely view happiness as a by-product rather than a goal to be sought. I recall a challenging time in my introspective teen years when depression was creeping into my life. I wanted so much to simply be ‘happy’ but was unable to attain happiness. When I finally gave up trying to make myself happy and turned to doing things to make others happy, the long-sought happiness gradually began to displace the depression. That was about 45 years ago. There have been times since when depression has again worked its way into my being. Each time, it was forgetting my own desire for happiness and working instead towards making a difference in the lives of others that helped the depression dissipate. Thus, for me, happiness has always been a by-product.
I think happiness is a by-product or a reward for doing things for others and even for yourself especially in interacting with your nearest and dearest. Happiness is more likely to be experienced if you’re not too self-centred. The ‘more for me’ approach is a sure road to disappointment.
This is the beginning of my churches newsletter article I wrote last week:
Looking For Joy in All the Wrong Places
Seth Godin on the Generosity Boomerang:
Here’s conventional wisdom:
Success makes you happy. Happiness permits you to be generous.
In fact, it actually works like this:
Generosity makes you happy. Happy people are more likely to be successful.
The world we live in is still a pre-Easter pre-resurrection world in its attitudes and “conventional wisdom”. We confuse short term happiness with long term joy, we assume happiness has to be bought or possessed, we think we can either control everything or are a helpless victim. We live as though God has not brought life out of death and that the future does not include the kingdom of God. I know we do these things because I do them too. I lose track of what really brings joy, and get lost chasing happiness when I learned way back in junior high that happiness is a byproduct of doing something worthwhile with your whole heart. I even had a poster of it on the wall of my bedroom. Henry David Thoreau: “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” I add that the other things should be things worthy of your time and life as in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”
It always brings me a breath of delight when I see the Spirit inspiring the same ideas in people I admire 🙂 Blessings and Joy to you.
Rev. Michael Lee Burgess
I remember a story about a young man who was so unhappy that he was considering suicide. Someone made him promise that before he did he would spend a certain amount of time volunteering at a nursing home. That young man is alive and happy today.