If there is one element of parenting that I have consistently found confusing it’s the role of incentives in a child’s life. That is, should we set up concrete and clear goals and rewards for our children? And, if so, when do we offer incentives, for what kinds of activities, and how much? One of the first times (of many!) that this came up for my wife and me was when our kids were a few years into an excellent Suzuki violin program. At the recitals each fall, winter, and spring, kids would be called forward, recognized, and awarded ribbons for practicing for a hundred days (or 200, 300, etc.) of continuous practice. Simple enough, and...