“You can do this yourself.” These were the five words I most disliked hearing from my parents. Oh, I know, you can probably think of five worse words to hear. But these words meant that something I had asked them to do for me got turned around into something I had to do for myself. And that, obviously, wasn’t what I wanted. If I had wanted to do it myself, I wouldn’t have asked them to do it in the first place! Like calling a coach to ask why I wasn’t playing as much as I thought I should be. Or settling an argument with a sibling. Or asking someone for a job. The very point of my asking is that these were things that...

I have this theory, maybe you agree: a lot of our relationships – at home, work, school, and more – would improve, and a lot more would be accomplished, and a lot less misunderstanding would occur, and a lot more people would feel valued… if we spent more time listening to each other and less time talking. And not just passive listening where we nod our heads while thinking of what we will say next, but active, interested listening where we believe – and more importantly act – as if what the person speaking with us is saying really matters and that, by extension, that person really matters. If you agree –...