Name the one thing that, if you could get it tomorrow, would make you totally happy. If you’re at all like me, you probably had no trouble thinking of something. Or, actually, if you had a problem, it was limiting yourself to just one thing. And therein lies the key, actually, to our unhappiness. Somewhere along the line, we bought into the idea that if we could only get a little more we’d be happy. A little more money, a little more vacation time, a little better car or house, a little better job, a fancy new gadget… any of these things – depending on who you are – will make you happy. But it’s a lie. A lie constructed by our...

I found the following video fascinating. It’s not that the content is all that incredible – it’s essentially a simple retelling of the story of Jesus’ encounter with Mary and Martha followed by a brief interpretation of why this story is important to the narrator. Rather, it’s the very fact that a popular “secular” (not my favorite term, but…) author uses the story at all, let alone to good effect. Gretchen Rubin is the author of The Happiness Project and it’s follow-up Happier at Home, both of which are geared toward helping people discover and lay hold of practices that will make them – you guessed it – happier. On...

The relationship between money and happiness isn’t a new topic for this blog and its readers. We’ve discussed before the relationship between happiness, money, and memory and, in particular, our inability to predict what will make us happy because of the fragility of memory. We’ve explored the peculiar power of our cultural narrative that having more stuff makes us happy when, in fact, what we need and want so much more than “more stuff” is time enjoy what we have. And we’ve seen how money can, in fact, make you happy when you spend it on others. In this vein, I recently came across a brilliant little video that summarizes a lot...

I have a confession to make: I started listening to Christmas Carols in earnest two weeks ago. I know I’m not supposed to. I mean, I know that I should wait at least until Advent. (Actually, we’re often told that we should wait until Christmas itself to sing Christmas carols and should content ourselves with Advent songs until then. That’s a debate I’ve entered into before and something, quite frankly, about which I have some strong feelings. ) So there’s no way around it: I know I shouldn’t be listening to Christmas music yet. But here’s the thing: listening to Christmas music makes me happy. I actually listen to it...

In recent weeks we’ve considered happiness from a variety of perspectives: what makes us happy, what doesn’t, and why we’re so bad at distinguishing between the two. Sometimes the insights offered have been surprising: turns out that getting more stuff or making loads of money doesn’t make us happy, while giving money away does. In this TEDTalk, Dan Pink — author of one of my favorites books in recent years, A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future – offers another surprise: contrary to popular wisdom, we are rarely motivated or made happy by the traditional rewards and carrots of...

So here’s my ongoing question: if we by and large agree that spending money on ourselves doesn’t buy happiness, then why do we regularly act like it does? I think I’m arriving at an answer. Or, at least, at a partial answer. And I think that partial answer has to do with how intangible “happiness” – or, for that matter, “fulfillment,” “meaning,” or “purpose” – really is. In fact, when you get right down to it, many of the things we say we want most – whether it’s “fulfillment” or “community” or whatever – are really hard to describe. I mean, what is “community”? What does it look like? How does one...

Michael Norton holds a Ph.D. in psychology and puts his training to work while teaching at the Harvard Business School. In this fascinating TEDTalk, he shares with us a variety of experiments that convinced him and his team that you can, in fact, buy happiness. But only when spending your money on others! What I found rather astounding about this was not, actually, Michael’s conclusion. I’ve experienced that before and so, I bet, have you: the great feeling that comes from buying someone a gift, however small, or making a donation to an organization that will make a difference in someone’s life. When my kids and I...

I came across this TEDTalk after I read Dan Gilbert’s Stumbling on Happiness. In it he offers a great summary of his major thesis: that we misremember many of our experiences and therefore are poor predictors of what makes us happy. But there’s an upside: we’re actually very good at creating what he calls “synthetic” happiness by almost always looking at the bright side. In a reverse of the “sour grapes” phenomenon – perhaps we should call it the “lemonade” phenomenon – we are hardwired to make the best of our situations. And if we trust that rather than think we can make...