Matthew 27:3-10
When Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he repented and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. He said, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” But they said, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.” Throwing down the pieces of silver in the temple, he departed; and he went and hanged himself. But the chief priests, taking the pieces of silver, said, “It is not lawful to put them into the treasury, since they are blood money.” After conferring together, they used them to buy the potter’s field as a place to bury foreigners. For this reason that field has been called the Field of Blood to this day. Then was fulfilled what had been spoken through the prophet Jeremiah, “And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of the one on whom a price had been set, on whom some of the people of Israel had set a price, and they gave them for the potter’s field, as the Lord commanded me.”
I find these verses among the most tragic in Scripture. The details of Matthew’s account, we should note, differs markedly from that of Luke (told in Acts 1:15-20), so there is probably as much narrative embellishment at work here as there is historical report. Of the two, Matthew’s story is decidedly more poignant. Judas repents and, seeking to make amends or at least renounce his act, he seeks to return the money he received but is rejected and cast off. In despair, he commits suicide. All of this, Matthew says, is to fulfill Scripture, although the passage Matthew cites is obscure as there is no quotation quite like this in Jeremiah. (There is a mention of a potter’s field in Jeremiah 19:1-13 and a closer quotation in Zechariah 11:12-13. Matthew may have combined these verses and only cited the major prophet, Jeremiah. Interestingly, when Luke describes his version of Judas’ death as fulfilling Scripture, he quotes the Psalms.)
Whatever the origins or accuracy of Matthew’s account, however, I find his depiction of Judas’ death both poignant and harrowing. Poignant in that it portrays Judas as remorseful, aware at the end of the depth of his betrayal and eager to renounce and repent of his deed. Harrowing in that it shows the outcome of despair, despair caused by rejection, the inability to make amends, and the lack of forgiveness or possibility of reconciliation.
I do not know how this story has been connected to Christian views about suicide over the centuries. That is, I don’t know if part of the church’s condemnation of suicide is linked to Matthew’s description that Judas took his own life. But I do know that when I hear this version of Judas’ story, as when I hear the story of other victims of suicide, I can find no room in my heart for condemnation but only deep sorrow, sorrow over the immense, almost unimaginable pain that would drive someone to want to take his or her own life.
The Christian Church, I believe, has failed in its response to suicide. Of course it runs contrary to God’s will – how could any parent want such an end for a child. But that’s not the point. What really runs contrary to God’s will is that any of God’s children should suffer so, should be in so much psychic, emotional, social, and existential pain. Rather than condemn the outcome of such pain, we should instead stand with those who are suffering and their families by working to remove the stigma from the mental illness and suffering that would drive one to contemplate or attempt suicide and thereby make it easier for them to seek help. We should encourage outreach to those suffering by supporting counseling and suicide prevention services. And we should offer those suffering and their families the consolation of empathy and companionship as they walk a difficult road.
One of the interesting details in Matthew’s account invites one other reflection. The field the elders buy, the potter’s field, becomes a place of burial for a group called “foreigners.” We don’t know whether that meant Gentiles or Jews from outside of Jerusalem, but we do know it represented those who would not normally be included in the burial rites of the time. Might Judas’ Potter’s Field be a reminder that God always makes room for those normally excluded? Might we, when we recall Judas, think not only of his betrayal but also his remorse and the provision that there should be a resting place for all, no matter how wretched? Might we renew our efforts to extend the love and comfort of God to all people, particularly those who are suffering mental anguish and those who care for them? If so, we might do this not only in the name of Judas, but also and especially in the name of the one Judas’ followed.
Prayer: Dear God, use us to comfort those who suffer, to reach out to those who despair, and to accompany those who feel they walk alone. For all people are precious and beloved in your sight and you reject none of them, none of us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Amen and thanks.