Reframing Stress
Most of us know that stress is bad. And in recent years we’ve been finding out just how bad. As it turns out, stress affects our sleep, our health, our sense of wellbeing, our relationships. Yes, most of us know that stress is bad.
Or is it?
That’s the question that researcher, teacher, and author Kelly McGonigal raises. At the outset of her 15 minute TED Talk, in fact, she confesses her own regret at counseling people for years to avoid stress. What we need to do instead, she suggests, is reframe it.
Somewhere back in high school, I remember learning that the observable responses to fear and excitement were identical. That is, the increase in breathing rate, the constriction of pupils, beginning to sweat – these responses were the same whether one was afraid or excited. What mattered, then, was how one interpreted those responses.
That idea came in pretty handy on the soccer field, as I could tell myself that my sweaty palms and rapid breathing was caused not by fear but excitement for what was about to come. Which was important, because when you believe you are afraid, you have a harder time making quick decisions or thinking clearly, and when you believe you are excited, the reverse is true – your ability to respond to change and make good decisions increases. So when I was about to go onto the soccer field for a match (or, later, climb into the pulpit!), the way I framed my physical state greatly influenced my psychological state and, in turn, my performance.
And this is more or less what McConigal is saying about stress. Many of our responses to stress are identical to our responses to challenges, challenges that can make us stronger and increase the joy we take from life. So the trick, when you notice yourself “feeling stressed” is to reframe these responses as your body’s way of preparing you for a challenge that you are totally equipped to meet.
It’s not stress, as it turns out, that kills us; it’s how we interpret it: as our helpless reaction to a situation beyond our control or as our bodies best attempt to help us to flourish.
McGonigal, who specializes in translating academic research into helpful life practices and holds positions at both Stanford University’s school of business and its school of medicine, peppers her talk with a variety of interesting statistics and examples of how stress, ultimately, can become not our mortal enemy but a friend.
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David –
Welcome back! I hope your family’s transition is going well.
I am delighted to see your blog posts coming through again 🙂 This one is particularly salient. I have been chatting with my 15 year old nephew about some challenges he is having with some difficult classes and high school relationships. I look forward to sharing this with him and using it as a jumping off point for our ongoing conversations.
First of all, thanks for coming back, David. As a mental health practitioner I am familiar with the concept of the healthy aspect of stress. Stress does not mean distress. Stress is a fact of life that keeps us focused on meeting challenges instead of sitting on the sofa eating chocolate bon bons and watching TV (although I like doing both of these things).