Luke 9:23-27
Then he said to them all, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it. What does it profit them if they gain the whole world, but lose or forfeit themselves? Those who are ashamed of me and of my words, of them the Son of Man will be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. But truly I tell you, there are some standing here who will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.”
How many ways are there, do you think, by which we can lose ourselves? We can lose ourselves to drugs or alcohol, to food or sex, to greed or ambition. We know about those. But might we also lose ourselves to work, to regret, to petty grievances or long-held jealousy?
What all of these ways of losing ourselves have in common, I think, is that each starts out in some measure as a way to save ourselves. We try to ease our pain with drugs and alcohol. We seek comfort through food, acceptance through sex, security through greed, recognition though ambition. Again, we know about those. But so also do we seek recognition and security through work, and we crave some kind of compensation for loss or admission that we were right or claim on the future through regret, jealousy, and grievances.
It is a peculiar but unfailingly true dimension of life that any time you focus relentlessly on yourself – your own needs, wants, or desires – you end up getting lost in that quest for self-fulfillment, absorbed by your unmet and unmeet-able needs. Why? Because we were created for relationship. From God’s pronouncement that is not good for the one made from earth (a more literal rendering of the Hebrew adam) to be alone, to Jesus’ appointment of a company of apostles, we see over and over again the biblical affirmation that we discover our true purpose and reason for being only in and through relationship.
And relationships require sacrifice.
This is not, mind you, inviting a door-mat theology where we accept the abuse or disregard of those around us for the hope of someone’s acceptance. Nor is it an argument against self-acceptance or self-love. Rather it is acknowledging that the only way we can save ourselves – that is, really find, discover, accept, and live into being who we were meant to be – is to give ourselves away in relationships of mutual care and sacrifice.
This isn’t everything Jesus’ means by inviting us to take up his cross. Certainly he sets the example for sacrificial love in his self-giving ministry of tending the needs of others, even to the point of death. But this is also more than just an example. It is a window in the nature of being those persons God created us to be. It is testament that we find ourselves as we give ourselves away. That we discover ourselves when we seek to know and discover others. That we find life, genuine and abundant life, only when we stop pursuing it and focus on enriching the lives of those around us. And that we remember who we are only when we forget to worry about who we are quite so much.
When Jesus invites us to follow him in the way of sacrificial love, he invites us not only to a holy discipleship but also into life-giving relationships with others that, together, we may all discover our identity as beloved children of God.
Prayer: Dear God, wrap us in the confidence of your love that we may give ourselves to others and, in doing so, receive ourselves back again. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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