Money Can’t Buy Me Love…Or Can It?
Near the end of July I’ll be participating as one of nine keynote speakers at a conference called “Rethinking Stewardship” at Luther Seminary. I’ll be joining the likes of Chris Farrell (of Minnesota Public Radio and APM’s Marketplace Money) and Nathan Dungan (of Share, Save, Spend) to talk about new approaches to stewardship. Our understanding of stewardship is that it’s not simply asking people for money but helping them relate to money in light of their faith – something almost every Christian I know has stated as a desire. How, that is, does our faith in Christ inform our lives as economic as well as spiritual beings? How does our faith shape our spending and saving and what we teach our children about money and values?
It should be a great conference. The title of my presentation is, as described above, “Money Can’t Buy Me Love…or Can It?” What I want to explore is the absolute conundrum that while we all know – and are eager to say – that money can’t make us happy, few of us manage to act that way. Most of us, that is, shop and save (or don’t save) and spend as if having more money were the one secret to happiness.
And yet we know that’s not true.
And it’s not just us. More and more research supports the claim as well. As I mentioned when talking about Kathryn Schultz’s TEDTalk on regret, for instance, one of the things that struck me in her presentation was that very few of us name financial decisions as a chief cause of regret. We’re far more remorseful about missing opportunities than we are about what we do with our money.
Similarly, other research has proven conclusively – I’ll highlight this in more detail tomorrow – that beyond a certain minimum income (in the U.S. of about $75,000/yr.) additional income does not add to one’s basic sense of security or happiness.
So why, then, do we focus so much of our energy on making more money, even though we know – but perhaps don’t really believe? – that it won’t make us any happier?
I’m going to work out some of my thoughts on this question here over the next few weeks and then try to pull that together in a presentation for the conference. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue, your struggles with living what you believe, and your insights into connecting faith and finances. Thanks for your help!
David, it seems you are practising communal preparation for your talk, with your request for thoughts and feedback!
Absolutely! 🙂
David, in combining the two pieces of 6/12 “In the Meantime…” you might want to think about Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. Guilt seems to have gotten to them: unlike Herod, guilt over their lying about money (stewardship). We don’t have to send copies of our 1040’s with our annual church pledge, but I’m not sure we’d be any different than A & S if we did. Ron
David,
I will be at the conference with a great group from our church. I am looking forward to it. As a summer practice, I am re-reading Wayne Muller’s wonderful book, Sabbath. Last week, in his opening chapters, he talks about generosity and giving as it relates to Sabbath. I want to share these quotes with you because I think he has a helpful piece to contribute to this conversation.
From Sabbath by Wayne Muller.
Pg. 11
“Thus, Sabbath is not only for ourselves; rested and refreshed, we more generously serve all those who need our care. The human spirit is naturally generous; the instant we are filled, our first impulse is to be useful, to be kind, to give something away.”
“Once people feel nourished and refreshed, they cannot help but be kind; just so, the world aches for the generosity of a well-rested people.”
Pg. 1-2
“In our drive for success we are seduced by the promises of more; more money, more recognition, more satisfaction, more love, more information, more influence, more possessions, more security. Even when our intentions are noble and our efforts sincere-even when we dedicate our lives to the service of others-the corrosive pressure of frantic overactivity can nonetheless cause suffering in ourselves and others. A ‘successful’ life has become a violent enterprise. We make war on our own bodies, pushing them beyond their limits, war on our children, because we cannot find enough time to be with them when they are hurt and afraid, and need our company; war on our spirit, because we are too preoccupied to listen to the quiet voices that seek to nourish and refresh us; war on our communities, because we are fearfully protecting what we have, and do not feel safe enough to be kind and generous; war on the earth, because we cannot take the time to place our feet on the ground and allow it to feed us, to taste blessings and give thanks.”
So, here is my thought. Perhaps part of the reason people aren’t as generous as they could be is because they are exhausted (not well-rested) and afraid (not safe). Perhaps they need Sabbath more than anything else? Perhaps if we helped people rest, their natural generosity would emerge?
Thanks so much for sharing this, Siri. I not only appreciate the sentiments but feel like I’ve been living them of late. It’s hard to be generous – in thought, word, or deed – when you’re always rushing to the next thing and already exhausted. And, I think, linking a poverty of spirit to the frenetic pace of our culture explains some things in terms of church, politics, economics, and the rest. Thanks again!
I am a huge fan of “Re Thinking” and “Sabbath”. I been through most of the chairs of the church council. As a banker, understanding people’s nature toward money and their problems has been a life long study of mine.
As a church Deacon, in charge of stewardship, I never could understand why we conducted fund raising like it was chamber of commerce. To me that didn’t make sense whatsoever. We are a chuch for Pete’s sake. God is a member of our club!
Waldo Werning, who has to be over 90 years old, wrote a book entitled “Members to Disciples” 40 years ago. It was this book that prompted me to declare to our council and ultimately our church, that unless faith guides everything we do, we will continue to behave just like a chamber of commerce.
The result of this, caused our church to drop the traditional stewardship drive. We don’t do it any more. Rather we follow the principles of Re-Thinking”
To conclude, it appears to me the ELCA needs to go “all in” toward “Re Thinking”. Yet it was less than six months ago that our synod was teaching stewardship as if we were walking on eggshells. It is my perception the leadership fears there will be a big fall out if we cast aside our old ways and bring in what God really wants us to do and declare to others.
That’s nuts, get over it! God is much bigger than being concerned with how people might react to dropping the classic stewardship program.
How is our church doing today? Better than ever. We have money in savings, people connect to mission not money, stewardship is about discipleship, stewardship is 24/7, our congregation is more engaged in Growing in Faith and Sharing the Story.
That’s a great story, Carlos. Thanks for sharing and pointing us, again, beyond thinking of stewardship about as fundraising and pointing us back to discipleship and the call to be enriched as our faith informs all dimensions of life.